I'm a Worrier

Yeah, that's me. I'm a worrier. I even have worry lines to prove it. Some people have laugh lines; I have worry lines. I'm not a creative worrier like my grandmother was. She could worry about the most delightful things like getting cancer between your toes or paper plates flying through the air and landing on cars and causing major accidents. No, I worry about religion. I worry about my relationship with God. I worry that I'm not doing things right or that the issues (read, sin) that I struggle with will swallow me whole someday. Don't get me wrong. This is NOT HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE. I remind myself over and over again that this worry is 1) detrimental 2) hurtful to God 3) unnecessary. The problem is I get stuck. I get stuck on an idea or fear and it does a nice circular path in my mind (yes, I'm confessing to borderline OCD or just OCD); this fear goes over and over and over again like a song that is stuck there and I long for escape.

Some things help me escape:

Intercessory prayer. There's something about praying for other people that helps me get out of obsession loop.

Getting out and socializing. I realize more and more that worry is a good sign that I haven't spent enough time with people. People are an amazing antidote to over analyzing myself.

Getting more sleep. Yup, sleep is where it's at for me. If I'm not getting enough sleep than you can bet that worry is creeping in on me again.

I'll probably always have to fight off worry (it is highly genetic...well...I mean I come from a whole clan of worriers! Yippee!), but I'm learning other things too. I'm learning that I can harness my worry for good. You see there is one obsession I need in my life. And since I'm so gifted at obsessing I've realized that God can use this talent for good.

What should I obsess over? What should I "worry" about constantly? What should I mull over and over and over? It is this--the love of Christ.

I tell myself this..."Your conscientious duty is to know God's love." So here's my prayer. I fall asleep praying it and I wake up praying it, "Lord, let me know your love. Lord, help me to know your love."