God's Goodness

"Contrary to expectation, he displays his hand from hidden places and thus shows how far his goodness goes beyond the narrow limits of our faith."

John Calvin

Hunger Points in the Universe

"We are hunger-points in the universe; the elemental fact in every human life is desire. To a man who disclaims any act of prayer we retort, 'Your life is an organized prayer. Your body craves food, your mind craves knowledge, your affection craves friendship, your spirit craves peace and hope. You do not pray? Rather every stroke of work and every purposeful thought are endeavors to satisfy inward prayers."

Harry Emerson Fosdick in The Meaning of Prayer p.143

Traveling the Land of God's Care

"Belief by itself is a map of the unvisited land of God's care; prayer is actually traveling the country."

The Meaning of Prayer by Harry Emerson Fosdick

I'm a Worrier

Yeah, that's me. I'm a worrier. I even have worry lines to prove it. Some people have laugh lines; I have worry lines. I'm not a creative worrier like my grandmother was. She could worry about the most delightful things like getting cancer between your toes or paper plates flying through the air and landing on cars and causing major accidents. No, I worry about religion. I worry about my relationship with God. I worry that I'm not doing things right or that the issues (read, sin) that I struggle with will swallow me whole someday. Don't get me wrong. This is NOT HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE. I remind myself over and over again that this worry is 1) detrimental 2) hurtful to God 3) unnecessary. The problem is I get stuck. I get stuck on an idea or fear and it does a nice circular path in my mind (yes, I'm confessing to borderline OCD or just OCD); this fear goes over and over and over again like a song that is stuck there and I long for escape.

Some things help me escape:

Intercessory prayer. There's something about praying for other people that helps me get out of obsession loop.

Getting out and socializing. I realize more and more that worry is a good sign that I haven't spent enough time with people. People are an amazing antidote to over analyzing myself.

Getting more sleep. Yup, sleep is where it's at for me. If I'm not getting enough sleep than you can bet that worry is creeping in on me again.

I'll probably always have to fight off worry (it is highly genetic...well...I mean I come from a whole clan of worriers! Yippee!), but I'm learning other things too. I'm learning that I can harness my worry for good. You see there is one obsession I need in my life. And since I'm so gifted at obsessing I've realized that God can use this talent for good.

What should I obsess over? What should I "worry" about constantly? What should I mull over and over and over? It is this--the love of Christ.

I tell myself this..."Your conscientious duty is to know God's love." So here's my prayer. I fall asleep praying it and I wake up praying it, "Lord, let me know your love. Lord, help me to know your love."

Achor, The Poem

You'll find God in desert places.
How could there in-feeling-nothing still be him?

You'll find Him in sand and wind
With blood on your lips.

You'll find the hands that turned water to wine, bread to feasts, and broken bones to dancing,